5 Types of People You Must Avoid to Succeed in Life
Posted on April 13 2015
My favorite quote from Maya Angelou is “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” It took me a long time to get a hang of implementing this motto in my daily life. You see, I’m a big believer in second chances. I think people can change if they they want to and they try hard enough. The thing is, this doesn’t apply to everyone. What I’ve learned is that it always takes a combination of intuition and experience to help me decide who stays and who goes in my life.
Spring is here. A time for new life and new beginnings. A time to clean house and start afresh. You can’t expect something new to come in if you refuse to clear out the old. I apply that philosophy to both things and people. That being said, here are 5 types of people you need to get rid of immediately to make way for a better and much more fulfilling life.
After a while, you’ll learn how to spot these people from a mile away. There’ll be no need to get rid of them as time goes on because you’ll never let them in to begin with.
1. The Constant Critic
Those who can’t do, criticize. As Benjamin Franklin says “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain –and most fools do.” Nothing you do is good enough in the eyes of this person. They can always do it better and they always let you know how you should be living your life. Every sentence from this person includes a “but”. There’s constructive criticism and then there’s criticism that breaks you down little by little until you stop trying. Run, don’t walk away from this person.
2. The Naysayer
The cousin of the Critic. This person is so intimate with the word “can’t” that they’re practically one entity. My belief is that those who “can’t” should shut up and let those who can get it done. I knew a guy who once told me that “those who think they’re the exception never are.” He was right. He was never going to be the exception to any rule. I no longer know this person.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Henry Ford
3. The Drama Queen / King
There is always something wrong. Someone is always out to get them. Life is never on their side. The list goes on. It’s important to constantly take stock of where your energy is going. Do you spend most of your day marinating in garbage, negativity and drama? You may think that an hour in the morning or two hours in the evening on the phone with this person isn’t really much but time adds up and frankly, you will never get back any of the time you’ve wasted with this person. It gets a little tricky if this type of person is family. What’s important is that you are in control of the relationship. Don’t let your emotions take over and remember that you are not a victim. You always have a choice. If you currently spend an hour on the phone with this person every morning, cut it down to 30 minutes and find something more valuable to fill your time.
4. The Frenemy
Do they love you or do they hate you? Do they want to help you or destroy you? This doesn’t just apply to friends and family. A Frenemy could also be a boss or a co-worker. They smile at you and then slowly destroy you. There are subtle digs masked as compliments. I once had a boss who would compliment you and cut you down in the same sentence (”friendly” giggle included). This is the type of person who pushes you in front of a moving bus and then tries to resuscitate you. How do you know how to thank them? What you need to understand about this person is that it’s never about you. Their actions always stem from a place of fear. They need to make you feel small in order to make themselves feel big.
5. The Yes Man
The truth is sometimes ugly. In certain cases, it’s relative and subjective. It can be painful, harsh and hard to swallow. It is also freeing. It sheds incredible light on any situation and it is always there –whether we choose to accept it or not. My mother is incredibly honest. She calls me out on my nonsense. When I’m wrong, she tells me. She isn’t afraid that it’ll create a wrinkle in our relationship. She is also my biggest encourager. She constantly tells me that she’s proud of who I am and who I’m becoming. We don’t need people who will agree with everything we say and do. We need people who will shine a light on our best and worst qualities and embrace us with genuine kindness in the process.