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Finding beauty in the space

Posted on June 26 2016

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I can’t explain it. In fact, trying to put it into words diminishes the entire experience. It’s not the first time that I’ve felt this, I’m sure I’ve felt it many times before. It seems to me that it exists with and without my permission at least a million times a day. It flees, it stays, but mostly it flees. I breathed in the breeze as I stood in front of the mirror, it seemed to pass through me and over me all at the same time. The light was just light enough; the air was just warm enough. My heart fluttered a little and I wasn’t sure why. There was a familiarity to this space but then there was a fear of what I might discover.

I forgot where I was and what I was supposed to do next. I forgot myself, my dreams, my goals, my ambitions and my aspirations. I forgot that everything that was supposed to be done this weekend was actually not done. I forgot to be hard on myself; I forgot to forgive myself. I forgot every physical ache and emotional dent. In that moment, in that space, nothing was being asked of me yet I was being given everything that I needed. In that moment, I experienced a peace that surpassed my understanding. I discovered a place of no mind, a gap… it was perfect.

I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I was always a curious child so it makes sense that I grew into a very curious adult. Curiosity is fantastic but when one’s need to know turns into an obsessive need to always know what comes next, curiosity becomes a detriment to the human spirit. It’s amazing to me that so many people will never experience that first nervous phone call with the person that they just gave their number to –the person they locked eyes with and instantly connected with. The person they hoped would call and who is now on the other line.

They’ll never experience the fear of thinking that the other person can hear their heart beating through the phone. They’ll never experience the awkward pauses and gaps in conversation and not knowing what the other person is going to say next. So many of us will never experience this feeling because so many of us are afraid of those gaps and pauses. We’d rather text. It’s easier to plan and anticipate when we text –there is less room for surprises. How sad.

We plan…God laughs

There is beauty in not knowing what comes next. Whether it’s a moment of no thought –of no mind or a period in your life when you have absolutely no clue about what to do and no idea about what will happen. If you take a minute to rest in that space, to still your mind and your preconceived ideas of what should be; if you take a minute to be in that moment and not run away into the possibilities of the future, you are bound to find awe in that unplanned gap.

“Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.” Eckhart Tolle

The gap is a moment of perfection between what is and what isn’t. It lives and operates in a place and space that is beyond our thoughts, human manipulations and even sometimes comprehension. We’re usually afraid of it because it seems so foreign yet so familiar –it is the key to our truest self. Did you know that human beings and in fact all physical things in general are made up of nothing? The atoms that make up our bodies are mostly empty space. It is that same empty space that binds and separates the bodies of water on this earth and beyond. It is that empty space that fills the skies, supports the sun and the moon. It is because of that empty space, that nothingness that we are actually something.

It is interesting that the word “nowhere” is also “now here.”

The next time you want to run away from a place and space of nothing, stop and stay. You know that space, you are that space. No “bad” thing can come from that space. To trust, to live and to breathe that unknown space shows that you trust in Life itself. Remember that from nothing comes everything.

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