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I am a little embarrassed to admit this but...

Posted on July 25 2016

I worry. Still. Even after all that I know, even after all that I’ve experienced and after the many ways that Life has proven to me that I need not be anxious about anything –even after all this, I still sometimes allow worry to creep up and make a nice, comfy spot to rest in my head. When a problem arises, I worry that I won’t find the right solution. When I take on a new opportunity, I worry about how well it will fit into my future. I worry that I’ll run out of things to write about. I worry a lot about wasting time – wasting time on the wrong passions, people and experiences.

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately… you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. Eckhart Tolle

The mind is a funny thing. I’ve discovered that it loves to chew on whatever it can get its hands on – it doesn’t matter how big or small the circumstance or problem is. We tell ourselves often that when we get the things that we want, we’ll finally be happy, content and at peace. The fact is, even if you got every single thing you’ve ever wanted, your mind would still find something else to focus on, something else to chew on and fight for and mull over. Worry will eventually ensue about what comes next and how you will achieve that next thing. I’ve learned that while the mind can be helpful in so many ways, while it can create the most beautiful and magical things, it can also be dangerous if you’re not conscious of how it works.

Each of our journeys is a collaboration between us and Life itself. If we trust in Life, if we believe that we are not here by accident but so that Life can know itself in all its glory, then how could we ever be worried about any step of the journey? It is said that the human heart beats about 100,000 times in one day and about 35 million times in a year. During an average lifetime, it will beat more than 2.5 billion times. I do not have to remind my heart to beat. I assume that it will do so without my worrying, nudging or negotiating. I trust that it will do what it was created to do. What I am discovering, is that if I trust in Life and in my journey, then I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Boredom, anger, sadness, or fear are not ‘yours,’ not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you. Eckhart Tolle

I’ve found that worry is something that sneaks up when the mind is bored. It is afraid of the silence and the consciousness that surrounds it. Just as darkness cannot fully exist in the presence of the tiniest flicker of light, worry and anxiety cannot exist in the presence of consciousness and the now. I have become a watcher of my thoughts. I watch with no judgement. The worries still come but like an owner watches her dog chase its own tail, I watch with amusement as my mind chases problems it has deemed important. I watch and I wait and eventually, the mind tires of its own games. Peace comes. Finally.

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